


Feels Like A Farce

by Hyacinthium



Series: Hyacinthium's Discord Shorts [5]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Depression, Excessive Cursing, Hatred, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Oma Kokichi, Pre-Game Personalities (New Dangan Ronpa V3), Self-Destruction, Self-Hatred, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 02:27:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15184733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyacinthium/pseuds/Hyacinthium
Summary: Ouma Kokichi exists by feeding off of his own pure and unadulterated spite. He is an average and talentless individual whose parents probably don't love him. He hates everyone around him, especially the upperclassmen that never leaves him alone. One of those statements is even true.





	Feels Like A Farce

**Author's Note:**

> This one is somewhat similar to the previous pregame au fic, but it's extremely different. Ball of vitriol Kokichi is fun to write.

Kokichi hates Dangan Ronpa with a quiet passion. Unfortunately, it seems like his school is one of those rare Dangan Ronpa all day festivals. As in most of the students in it fucking adore Dangan Ronpa.

So whooooops there Kokichi goes again, lying about liking the modern day gladiator bullshit show.

It's mostly just a chore to hear people talk about it. Kokichi isn't being bullied or anything though, so that's great.

He gets the best grades in school, does zero talking to people, and gets his cash on time from his parents who never ever fucking call. Lunch is eaten on the roof each day. Days and weeks turn into months of this, and Kokichi is perfectly happy not having to deal with the fuckers salivating away over televisions full of death. 

Then Kokichi gets approached by some stammering guy during lunch halfway through the year. 

Kokichi is pretty sure that he's seen this guy before. Like in the bad way. The mega freaky super fucker Dangan Ronpa Fanboy way.

Oh boy, background character is introducing himself. Wonderful. Yep, Saihara Shuichi is a name that basically everyone in school knows.

The kind of fan that talks to big official people on Twitter and will probably end up in the industry too. Holy fuck.

So Kokichi stammers out some excuse in his most pathetic voice, and prays that Saihara will fuck off. Get the message.

But every other day is a new Dangan Ronpa gift and oh fucking eighty bazillion gods Saihara found his social media account wait why did you accept the friend request-

And that's how Kokichi started getting chatted at all day. By his personal That Guy. Who is buying and carefully gifting expensive merchandise. To Kokichi.

What is even his life right now.

Most importantly, why the fuck is Saihara breaking their months long code and joining Kokichi for lunch? In Kokichi's classroom?

"Saihara, you huge socially ignorant snot bubble," Kokichi says with the most even tone he can muster. "What the fuck made you sit down in front of me?"

Saihara laughs like Kokichi just showed him a particularly stupid dog video.

"I have another gift and I wanted to talk to you! There's a new Despair Girls game at that arcade you like," Shuichi rambles into his hat.

Kokichi tunes out the rest of the conversation and totally doesn't let Shuichi give him octopus sausages.

Absolutely no cutely octopus cut foods. Zero. 

Iruma needs to stop looking so damn horrified by everything. Honestly, what the hell is wrong with her? It's not like Kokichi actually let Saihara go through with feeding him.

Kokichi wakes up the next day with three messages about going to the arcade. He lasts five minutes in his empty shack of an apartment before he gives in and dresses as nicely as possible.

Shuichi's first action is to drag Kokichi off to get food. This shit stain is taking Kokichi out on a date. And it's not even to any of the freaky themed cafes lining the streets either.

It's just. It's a normal pancake place.

What the fuck is wrong with Saihara? It's 99% Dangan Ronpa with sprinkles of current news or something like concern. And then he'll have a maybe ten minute long normal person conversation.

Kokichi wants to bash his head open.

"So about the gift, since the teacher chased me out, uh-" Saihara starts to mumble.

His shaking hands hold out a small mini Gundam phone accessory.

"You like... The toy building one? I think this is the main character's robot."

He's utterly wrong because that's obviously from Unicorn, but Kokichi slowly approaches the thing with his left hand.

If he uses his less use able hand, then Kokichi can be relatively unaffected by the sure to happen Monokuma bite. Because that mecha looks like a fucking viper pit trap.

Saihara happily drops his gift into Kokichi's hand.  
Nothing happens.

No Monokuma chain bursts out from Kokichi's new robot.

Kokichi takes a long drink of his coffee flavored milk and resigns himself to feeling little fluttering butterfly wings stabbing his guts.

Kokichi forces himself to go slow on his eating, and Saihara finishes around the same time. He only checks his Twitter twice.

Kokichi is in the Twilight Zone and fears that today is the day that Shuichi reveals himself to be a man eating spider wearing human skin.

Because that's a thing.

They walk back down to the already agreed upon arcade. It's pretty obvious what Saihara means by new game, because the huge posters pretty much blot out anything else ever. Joy and damnations.

Kokichi remembers well enough how an entire wall is dedicated to Dangan Ronpa, but that's pretty much any arcade since Kokichi has been existing. Fucking annoying. Kokichi would rather play a mindless game instead of some faux meaningful drivel.

His feet take him past sliding doors anyway, and Saihara pays for their whatever jesus okay this is a date

Kokichi is on a date with someone that seemingly exists only to annoy him.

Woowle, how to delete reality's operating system? No answer.

Saihara drags them over to the DG farther down and into a corner. They sit down in a semi enclosed booth and pay the stupid machine. An automated voice thanks them.

Kokichi prays for the sweet release of unconsciousness, preferably right yesterday, and grabs the stupid megaphone used as a remote. Thing.

Controler, yeah.

Kokichi only really plays sims these days.

Two hours later, Saihara walks out with three bags worth of Kokichi's winnings. Shouting break and other shit into a fake megaphone wasn't what Kokichi had wanted from today, but making a tired and acne ridden clerk fork over all the most expensive shit feels nice.

"Ouma-kun is really great at games!" Saihara says.

Kokichi adjusts his own four bags, because like hell he'd let Saihara do more than him, and shrugs.

"You should try to do more game stuff. Or even maybe professionally?" the Fanboy continues.

Kokichi stops walking. A stray cat stares at him. It seems to say, who the fuck are you joking with right now.

He doesn't know.

He doesn't really remember reading Saiharachat or hearing Saiharawords or anything, because Kokichi is a tiny salty asshole. He knows nothing about Saihara, just that he's in second year while Kokichi is in 1st, and that Saihara actually has a life. Oh. 

And unlike Kokichi, Saihara actually gives so much of a damn to make a token effort in finding out what Kokichi likes.

Kokichi turns around and Saihara immediately looks startled.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Kokichi asks him.

Saihara blinks and shuffles, clearly caught off guard and uncomfortable. He glances around. The cat hisses at the shift in mood.

It jumps off of its vending machine perch and leaves.

For a moment, Kokichi wants to be that cat. It's a long known and usual thing for a kid to desire being an animal. Or fantasy creature.

Kokichi is almost eighteen and he wants to be a cat. That's pathetic. But right now he thinks that this confused Saihara is worse.

"I'm wondering right now, and for a while, how many of your friends are just people who can't make you leave them alone?" Kokichi's voices says as it pours uninvited into Saihara's ears.

"Because I have done nothing but give less and less polite signs that I want nothing to do with you. For months."

Saihara Shuichi becomes so pale and jaw droppy that his stupid hat can't hide his dismay.

Saihara closes his mouth and swallows, "I..."

Pitiful, pathetic, worthless, probably trying to figure out what to say based on an episode of Dangan Ronpa that had this scenario.

Kokichi watches his basically a stalker start shaking at the shoulders. He shouldn't feel bad. His only mistake is not being clearer. That's the only mess up that Kokichi had made.

So now he's cleaning up Saihara's deluxe delusional dream world.

"I threw out each and every single gift the moment I got home, on each day you give them to me," and Saihara flinches just a tiny bit.  
Kokichi laughs, "The only thing you ever do is blow up my phone and make me feel upset at school. I hate you. I've hated you ever since you confessed to me like a starving dog on the school roof."

Kokichi leaves his winnings on the dead asphalt of an unused back road, and pretends that he can't hear the only consistent conversation partner he's had for years, crying.

When he gets home, he throws his robot into his pile of neglected Dangan Ronpa merchandise.

He turns his shower on scalding hot. He gets in and pretends that he's never cried in his life.

It doesn't work.

The next day at school is dull. Three classmates actually ask where Kokichi's boyfriend is. Two others show up at lunch and blabber about shit like, 'Oh are you okay?'

Or Kokichi's favorite thing they all end up saying.  
'I've been working on talking to you all year, but you seemed so. ..'

Blah blah blah.

Kokichi slams his shoe locker shut and goes home having not said a single word.

By the end of the week, his classmates stop trying to enact ingrained social niceties.

"No wonder poor Saihara-senpai broke up with him."

But no one starts shit because they're too busy with Dangan Ronpa, and the teachers all kiss Kokichi's ass for being the smartest student in the building.

It's the best week that Kokichi has had in months. His phone is silent, his pile of unwanted merchandise hasn't grown, and no one has so much as giggled in his direction.

The deposit from his parents flows into his account as always.

At 2AM, on a school night, Kokichi stares at the purchase page of a little bobble head. It is limited edition and Kokichi can't even remember the rabbit's name.

He hasn't bought himself anything but necessary items and healthy food in years.

He buys the pink and white rabbit mascot of a franchise that he despises.

Nationals are coming up, Kokichi reminds himself. He binges a live TV adaptation of the Dangan Ronpa game that is maybe a century or more old. It has aged awfully and Kokichi thinks that the writing is awful. The fact that Monoworld twist is legit is stupid as fuck. Kokichi already grew up knowing every speck of the everything.

He pirates the rest of the original series.

Kokichi wakes up right before his alarm, as he always does and has since he was seven years old. He looks at his boring black retro school uniform.

He stays home without even calling in sick, and gets to watching a boring second season that he already knows everything about.

The writing is honestly speaking, a shitty disaster. Kokichi downloads the games and plays them via bootleg sim interfaces and decade old emulators.

It's still so shit.

He writes a huge post on it all, essays to be honest, and spams it on every platform that he can. He shares it on anonymous spaces full of bitter dick weeds.

Best girl is Mukuro, he says. Because we only put up with her for a few horrible hours and then she dies while looking like Junko. And almost killed the protagonist. And other countless worthless humans in that nauseous world.

The hate he gets is amazing.

And then people actually look past his vitriol and say, hey... You have points.

By the end of the month Kokichi has 10,000 followers and his parent give him the normal amount of money while he hasn't gone to school once.

It's a bit scary. Kokichi lives like normal and not a single adult contacts him. No one questions why a high school student is buying groceries at nine in the morning.

Kokichi goes out at twelve to get a coffee from a vending machine and has a two hour conversation with some homeless men about religion.

At night.

It's another afternoon of sleeping but not, when someone knocks at his door.

Kokichi looks out the little seeing eye hole and  
It's Iruma and Saihara.

Kokichi leaves out his small bathroom window and goes to an Internet Cafe.

He watches the rest of season thirty and finishes his essay on how fucking horrible it is.

Someone begs Kokichi to open a donation page, and Kokichi just sips on his Fanta while death threats blot it out

Hopefully the two ass munchies will be gone by the time he heads back. Maybe around three AM.

Three am is the best. All the actual smart people log in at that hour,so Kokichi gets to read carefully put together responses and analysis of analysis posts.

On the mean time, he consoles himself by trolling his fansite. A site of fans. His fans.

Kokichi hates them too.

Kokichi stops sipping when he feels two bodies settling outside of his little net cafe room.

He didn't quite mean it, really, Kokichi feels a lukewarm and loving hatred for his many fans.  
Even the ones that psychoanalyze him

"Ouma-kun..."

Oh.

It's Saihara.

Kokichi turns around, and is glad that he didn't degrade enough to stop taking care of himself.

But he knows that he must still look like shit.

Maybe the scale in the bathroom lied and Kokichi gained weight. Maybe Saihara and Iruma are illusions.

Maybe Saihara can't see the one of a kind special ordered gifts clogging up Kokichi's phone, because if he can then Saihara knows that Kokichi lied and kept each little thing

But Kokichi already obsessively spent the last…

Kokichi isn't sure how long he's been denouncing Dangan Ronpa. But he's pretty sure that Shuichi has been reading each thing. Sometimes he even likes them.

Saihara stares down at Kokichi's limp body, as it sinks into the fold out chair-bed, and Kokichi prays to God that this is just a bad dream.

Two hours later has Kokichi in his two room apartment.

Life is not a dream. Saihara staring at Kokichi's empty abode and single pile of anything is real.  
Kokichi goes to his small as fuck room and no one stops him. He listens to Miss Class President talk to Saihara and messes with his phone.

No message from his parents.

That's probably because he lied on his papers and it's the government sending cash each month via an automatic system. He wonders if the invaders outside know

If they know where Kokichi lives, then probably.  
Which weak willed and desperate teacher leaked Kokichi's shit?

Kokichi considers the option of running away to a hotel. He could afford it. Hotels are probably more secure than Kokichi's favorite net cafe. Less chance of spider boy finding him.

He wallows in his futon instead.

**Author's Note:**

> I had an idea for Shuichi and Miu to cook dinner and a hungry Kokichi to eventually leave his room, but I don't think it'll get written. Just in case though, I'm keeping stuff close to my chest. People can probably figure out the twist though about Kokichi though.


End file.
